They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
