This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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