You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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