No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize