its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
