matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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