its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
