It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
