it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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