That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
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Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad