i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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