Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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