I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had sex on a roof
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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