i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
