I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
