I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
