I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
