STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
