I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
