3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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