So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
