I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize