I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
