Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
