Nicole vs. Life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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