How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
