And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
