Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
