All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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