Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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