He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
