Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize