can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
