dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?