Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse