come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
smell my finger.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.