So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle