Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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