He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
