i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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