we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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