I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
