idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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