After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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