You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Boobs are out for the taking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
