The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
