Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
