i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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