Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
