She said her name was "party"
He kissed a someone with a penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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