i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
