Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
