This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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