i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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