Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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