I can tuck mytits in my pants
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
