It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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