Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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