It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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