Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
