If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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