I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Still dying that you shit outside
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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