he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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