So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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