Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
