GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
