Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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